Coming to an End

As we come across the last reading assignment in Miller's Blue Like Jazz, I wanted to point out a couple of interest to me. 

Miller writes about his money issues. When talking about other writers books, he says: " ... we secretly wonder if God in heave noticed our evil jealously, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words." (page 187)

Even though I cannot relate to this in a writer's way, it still applies to my life. Jealousy can take over our everyday lives, which is not a good thing. We see something we want and envy others and later guilt sets in as Miller talked about. 

Pages 201-202 Miller wrote about the "mystical wonder." Our creator is someone that is much GREATER than us. He is perfect and we are not, but it goes far beyond man's level of understanding. Miller stated it best: "I can no more understand the totality of God than the pancake I made for breakfast understands the complexity of me."

God on a Dirt Rod Walking Toward Me

As I read chapter 1 of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz, I found it to be one of the best books we've read so far... even though I haven't made it past the first chapter. 

The beginning of the chapter talks about how in his early years he was far away from God and now is has become closer. "Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing." (page 1)

Then I got to the part where he was confused about God being Father. I can so relate to his confusion. When I was younger it was so confusing to think of God as not only my father, but all his children's father. Because I never really had to deal with the issue of my father, or anyone I knew around me, abandoning me, it never occurred to me the potential meaning of God being the Father. 

I just like to picture God as a BIG man who has the characteristics all the good stuff to be the nurturing Father to all his children. 

Project Update

So, I have been doing research online and found more websites. To narrow my topic, I decided to focus on infant mortality in Tennessee, which in 2006 was ranked 47th in the U.S. With it being one of the most highest infant mortality rates, I though it would provide more research information for my research paper. Here is a list of the websites I have been looking at:

http://tennessee.gov/health/infantmortality/PDFs/IM_Charts.pdf

http://health.state.tn.us/infantmortality/stats_facts.htm

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/587840_2

http://www.cfmt.org/givingmatters/infantmortality/

http://healthweb.nashville.org/Health_d/MortalityReport2003.pdf

I want to look at causes, preventions, and interventions used by the state. Some causes could be unjust, however the preventions and interventions could be just. I have noticed during my research the division of races among the rates, but I do not necessarily want to focus on this aspect. 

I plan to present my project as a PowerPoint in class including information from my research paper.

The Fall of Grit

As I was reading Neumark and came upon the death of Tanya, I found it to be very sad. As I kept reading down the page, I saw the line: "Each week when the congregation was invited to pray, Tanya jumped in before anyone else and began with the same words: 'I thank you Lord for this day. I thank you Lord for such a beautiful day!' Ana commented, 'Mommy, she said it even when it was cold and raining.' "

I found it so amazing she thanked God for the beautiful day no matter the weather. When I say my prayers I know I don't always thank God for the beautiful day. I find myself thanking him more often when it is sunny and warm outside. But Tanya's story made me realize I should always be thankful for the day God has given me no matter the weather, it is always a beautiful day. 

Not only did she thank God for the beautiful day when she was able to be active, she also thanked him when she couldn't even make it down the front steps of her apartment building! After I read this, I thought to myself that I am lucky to be alive and be able to live another day. I believe that is why every day is a beautiful day... God has given you the chance to live another day on earth and it shouldn't matter if it is hot, cold, wet, stormy, or whatever crazy weather we seem to have.

Table Dancing

In Breathing Space on page 121 to 122 Neumark tells of the story of Crystabel. This story was a little disturbing for me. I understand the mother is trying to make a living, but when she has kids to take care of I feel it is only just for her to find a different job. Obviously, no one watches after her children while she is gone because at 11:00 at night this 5-year old is ringing Neumark's doorbell to play on a school-night. If Ms. magazine followed through with "Taking-Our-Daughters-to-Work-Day", I can only imagine how this would effect families like Crystabel's. 

The sad part is there are people in the world today like Crystabel and her family. I believe it is unjust and something should be done. 

Justice

So at the beginning of the semester we were asked to define the definition of justice. Justice can be perceived from so many different viewpoints of people. In chapter 11, Heschel writes about justice. As I was reading, it made me form my original definition around what he was saying.

"Justice is not an ancient custom, a human convention, a value, but a transcendent demand, freighted with divine concern. It is not only a relationship between man and man, it is an act involving God, a divine need." (page 253)

"Justice is as much a necessity as breathing is, and a constant occupation." (page 254)

"Justice is strict and exact, giving each person his due." (page 256)

"Justice is scarce, injustice exceedingly common." (page 261)

God wants us to "seek justice." We can't expect to come before God doing injustice to our own brothers. Reading this made me think I should act more justly to everyone around me because that is what God wants... kinda like "treat others the way you want to be treated."

Justice Project

I have chosen to do a research paper concerning infant mortality for my project. I have found online sites that have provided useful sources. I originally thought about volunteering, but I decided it was too late. However, some challenges I am going to face is narrowing my topic. I will also have to make sure I link my research to justice or injustice so that I do not focus only on research. My to-do list over roughly the next month is to conduct more research, narrow my topic, and begin writing my paper.

Heschel and King

As I was viewing the links assigned for today's post, it really made to relate Heschel and King. From the first clip about Heschel, I gathered some information about him. He opposed war and said it caused "death of innocent people". During his life, the Holocaust took place, which formed Heschel viewpoint of racisim and other violence of humans beginning with language. However, through all these violent acts Heschel never blamed God, he said it was man's fault. Heschel describes God as one who weeps with man, and participates in the violence. The prophets inspired Heschel to speak out against the world's evils. His ancestors inspired him to celebrate life. Heschel goal towards others was to reach the heart. He was often recognized for his spiritual powers he felt (inevitible) and his deep spirituality. Like King, he fought for equal rights. He believed he was carrying out God's will and lived by what her taught. From the information provided about Heschel, him and King seem to have the same aspects of beliefs and actions from different situations and events. 

Isaiah

As I was reading through Isaiah 50-53 these verses spoke to me:

"It is the Sovereign Lord who helps me. Who is he that will condemn me? They will all wear out like a garment; the moths will eat them up. Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment." (Isaiah 50:9-11)

Everyone has a time in their life when it feels like you're stumbling through life in the dark. It is one of those adventures in life where you are trying to find your way and can't see where to go. Life is hard, figuring out who you are, what you want out of life, what's important to you, and figuring out what you truly believe. This verse gives me an inspiration: don't try to find your way by yourself with light in darkness, it will only hurt you in the end. Instead, trust and rely on God to show you the way through life. He will then be the light and light up the darkness. 

God and Dorothy Day

So, as we were assigned the 5-minute writing in class Friday, it really made me think about God's role in Dorothy Day. So this is what I have concluded:

In Day, we start with a young girl who was not taught or forced a religion in her home life. She prayed and believed he was real. However, she soon realizes that she has been taken advantage of him and comes to a point in her life where she is exploring a new world on her own. She reflects back on times when she did not have God in her life and realizes better decisions could have been made with his help. When Day gives birth to her daughter, love overflows. She believes it is crucial for her to have to find it. Finding God's love is not easy as she has to reject her own husband to join the Catholic church, which she finds necessary. Day feels that finding God's love her is not only important for her, but also important for her daughter. 

In Isaiah I cam across a passage that I really liked. (page 109)

" ' I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips' (6:5). Being unclean (literally: polluted) is a state of estrangement, a state in which one is kept away from the holy."

When I read this passage, I interpreted it as Isaiah believing we are all sinners including him self. I believe this passage is very important for everyone to realize because even though he is a prophet it does not make him perfect. I remember being younger and thinking a prophet must be someone special to God. However, that's not the case and here Isaiah is saying: " I'm just like everyone else."

In Day's book on page 181 it reads: "We have always acknowledged the primacy of the spiritual, and to have undertaken a life of silence, manual labor and prayer might have been the better way. But I do not know. God gives us our temperaments, and in spite of my pacifism, it is natural for me to stand my ground, to continue in what actually amounts to a class war..." Day does not seem to seriously question what has been done and what could have happen if things were done differently, but she realizes there could have been a different outcome. My all time favorite quote is: everything that happens is for a reason. Day seems to feel that way. She is saying things could have been different, but they weren't. God has made everything the way he has planned it to be. 

Final Project

For the final project as a justice-related issue, I have chosen to focus on infant mortality. Infant mortality includes malformations, deformations, chromosomal abnormalities, premature birth, low-birth weight, Sudden Death Syndrome, and accidents such as household dangers or falls. Although I am aware and know some information about these conditions, I previously had never referred to these conditions as infant mortality. I would like to focus on researching to learn more information about infant mortality. I would like to focus on researching and learning more about infant mortality and/or maybe volunteer with an organization linked to this condition. Researching this condition would include investigating into causes, the diagnosed rates, the effects, and other factors that play a role in the facts about infant mortality. If I volunteered with an organization I will have a learning experience that would go beyond web sites and books. Because I have plans to become a neonatal or pediatric nurse, it is a great interest of mine to invest and learn more about these types of issues and the injustice or justice they may bring to the family, friends, and community.

"What about God?"

As I was reading Dorothy's Day "What about God?" I came across a line that really made me relate: "We did not search for God when we were children. We took Him for granted." (page 17) 

Growing up as a child, I cannot remember not knowing about God. If the church doors were open, then I was probably there with my dad, mom, brother, and sister. It was expected. The same routine was performed over and over: go to church on Sunday mornings and nights, Wednesday nights, and say your prayers everyday. Even though I did not know any difference I knew this was the "right" thing to do and did not question it. As I grew older, I started learning there was so much different in the outside world that I felt like I had been protected from, it made me question myself. And just like Day I felt the same for the first in my life, "I began to be afraid of God, of death, or eternity." (page 20) I realized I too had been taking God for granted. Coming to college was a big transition. Everything was becoming new to me... and sometimes still is. I was finally stepping out into the "real world" and discovering what the world had to offer. For once in my life I was not around the same people I had known all my life and was not around the same temptations my small town had to offer. I have grown up in the same church ever since I can remember. As I came to college I did not even know how to go about finding a church that I feel is "close to home". I feel all of these life-changing events have led me to make a choice: go out and experience what the world offers or choose God. Knowing that I wanted to choose God, I knew it would not lead to any easy road, just as Day was to keep secret about how she felt, I feel I can too relate. 

Throughout Ecclesiastes there is a repetitious focus of everything being meaningless. Solomon was the king of Israel at the time and lived the fabulously rich life anyone could ever imagine or ever want. He had power, wisdom, popularity, prestige, and anything he desired. I don't know about you guys, but if I were in his shoes, I would probably take advantage of that opportunity. However, Solomon sees this as a gift from God. (5:19) Even though he had all these things he still thought everything was meaningless. This concept sounds crazy, but in reality we all know that we can't take anything with us when we die. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon says: "Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand." (5:15)

Next, I came across the final chapters of the book. These spoke the strongest to me. We are to enjoy each day God has given us to its fullest. "Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment." (11:9) 

Just like every other person I am not perfect and sin, however I feel like I know right from wrong. When I do something wrong I always have this guilty conscience telling me I did wrong. At the end of Ecclesiastes, Solomon concludes: "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." (12:13-14) Sometimes this can scare me, but it always inspires me to be a better Christian everyday. 

Claiborne tells about his adventure with his friend shooting the video clips. The responses he said they got seemed to be a little bizarre to me. I understand there are people that say they are Christians and then are hypocritical, but there are also the ones that do show the "love, grace, and community" he talked about. Also I feel that if he is so concerned about the imagery the word "Christian" brings to mind, they why doesn't he show the "love, grace, and community" to those people he interviewed and responded with "fake, hypocrites, church, used to be one, and boring". 

The main response that really made me think was: "used to be one." If Claiborne is the evangelist he seems to be throughout the book, then why is he so wrapped up in his project and not seeking to help the people he is interviewing that seem to be lost. Instead of focusing on the imagery people have of "Christian" in the present, I feel he should focus on changing the imagery now instead of later (or never). He should make the new kind of Christianity for love and grace emerge that he talks about. (page 270) He can help change the churches so people can become to know the God he knows, witness to the people on the street instead of interviewing, and use the published article for the magazine as an opportunity. Overall I feel Claiborne has stepped out of his position of fulfilling what he believes God would want. 

 

What is the point of the project? Is he trying to use this project to try to encourage the "Christians" to go out into the world and witness about our awesome God? If so, what gives him the honors of this job (we are all equal)? I feel he might have wasted a great opportunity to show the "love, grace, and community" those people needed to discover. All "Christians" should be witnessing every opportunity because we all know life is short.